So here goes!
In the UK today (if we celebrate it!)
February 14th is supposedly a festival of romance. And it's symbolised by hearts, cupids, pink things, doves, chocolates, roses, and perhaps poetry. As children, it was traditional to send an anonymous card to the person (or people) we had a crush on, signing it "?" or "Your Valentine". Supposedly leaving the recipient flattered and wondering who liked them. The card might be sent in the post, or (more usual) left inside your crush's desk or locker! Of course, this also left the people who did NOT receive any cards feeling left out or slightly ridiculed. So some friends would agree to send cards to each other, just so that we had at least one, and looked like we were part of the day.
For adults, very occasionally, anonymous cards or sometimes flowers will be sent (usually from men) to a love interest on Valentine's Day. Retail pressure also suggests that existing couples should go out for overpriced meals, and buy each other expensive and unimaginative gifts! (Red roses, chocolates and things shaped like hearts...) Or just gifts, generally. Prices in restaurants, and for themed gifts rise especially. Traditionally, for heterosexual couples, it was the man's responsibility to arrange Valentine's activities and presents. Today it is increasingly either party. Or none!
How it started
Valentine's Day's origins are Christian, but the romance part is not.
February 14th is officially the Feast of St Valentine in the church calendar*. It actually could celebrate more than one Saint Valentine (apparently there are several Christian saints with this name!) For the UK, it usually relates to Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni - who were both early Christian priests, martyred in the 3rd century AD. Probably. (They might have actually been the same guy - such is the haziness of history!)
A bit is known about Valentine of Rome. It seems he was imprisoned for - among other things - presiding over marriages to prevent men going to war (at the time forbidden under Roman law - as young single men were required for fighting). It is also said that he restored the sight of a young blind girl, sending her a letter before his execution, signed 'your Valentine'. Fair enough. But not super romantic.
The lovey-dovey concept was introduced to the public over a millennium later. With the cultural / social fashion of "courtly love"**, promoted by Chaucer (famous English poet) and other artsy types in the 14th century. Although it seems there were no existing traditions, the church feast day suddenly became associated with giving flowers, cards signed 'your Valentine', and professing romantic love. These sentiments were reiterated in later art and literature. And have endured to this day.
Some sources state that February 14th was adopted from the early (pre-Christian) Roman fertility festival of Lupercalia. This idea has some logic, and tbh, a lot of popular pagan festivals were rebranded by the early Christian church, in a kind of smart change-management exercise. But this theory for Valentine's Day has apparently now been thrown out by experts.
In Japan today
As with several Western concepts, Japan has adopted Valentine's Day but tweaked it to its own style. The idea was first imported by a confectioner in the 1930s. And today there are two Valentine's Days in Japan - one for women, and one for men. I have never been in Japan during these festivals. But this is what I've gathered from friends and research!
February 14th is specifically for women to gift chocolates or sweets to men. And they do not all have to be romantic interests. Two types of chocolate exist for the occasion: "giri-choko" [義理チョコobligation chocolates] which are bog-standard chocolate gifts for male friends or family; and "honmei-choko" [本命チョコ real, or love chocolates] which are special or homemade, and gifted to actual partners or crushes. Also, the recipient of honmei-choko can reject the gift if he's not interested in the giver (harsh! Though it's apparently rare). In some cases, Valentine's can become very expensive for women, especially if they feel they should buy giri-choko for their whole office.
White Day, then takes place on March 14th. This was introduced in 1978 by the National Confectionery Industry Association to redress the expenses of Valentine's Day for women - and also to make more money for the industry, natch! This is when men give gifts to women. Usually returning the favour of giri-choko, or upping the honmei-choko to a bigger or better gift (I guess if the romantic feelings are reciprocated!)
Openly gay singles and couples can apparently choose which day they wish to gift any honmei-choko, though it seems being openly gay in Japan is less common than it is in the West.
Although it is modern and entirely industry-invented, there is a little more sense to the Japanese system! Depending on the situation, there is a chance that an open honmei-choko gift could lead to actual chances of romance a month later, or on the day. The anonymous British card-giving is sort of useless. Because while it protects the secret sender from embarrassment or rejection, nothing practical can really come of it!
As in the West, not everybody in Japan thinks Valentine's and/or White Day is a great idea, and not everybody celebrates them. But it is still a big, national deal, which hugely boosts the revenues of retailers and confectioners!
* Some, but not all, Christian churches recognise the Feast of St Valentine. As I've mentioned before, there are MANY different kinds of Christianity, and variations for their festivals and other things.
** Courtly love was not a grunge star, but a literary concept started in France, and seen in the works of Chaucer and others. It was designed to entertain the medieval nobility, and emphasised stories of (lovesick) gentlemen wooing ladies in a very chivalrous way. Ultimately, Valentine's is an equivalent of future generations taking the sentiments of the Hollywood romcom seriously, and carrying them out as an annual tradition, attached bogusly to a religious feast!
Photos: part of this year's Valentine's display in London's famous Fortnum & Mason; gifts for him, for her, for anyone! :)
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