Tuesday, 29 November 2016

More British English Slang

Following a few recent conversations, and an amusing (if you're British) competition ad made by a bank in Singapore, here are three English words which have common, old slang meanings outside of their regular ones! 

1. Curtains
Regular meaning: fabric things which cover your windows (we don't use the term 'drapes' in the UK)
Slang meaning: the end, usually death or the act of dying. As in the end of the show, when the curtains come down. I think this is mostly old London slang. It's often a slightly joking term and it is not offensive in daily chat, but should not be used in any kind of serious situation!

Example: "It'll be curtains for the goldfish if it keeps on trying to jump out of the tank!"

2. Toss
Regular meaning: to throw something
Slang meaning: to masturbate. The term is applied to males and can have variations such as 'tosser' (a man who tosses - ie an idiotic or unpleasant person), 'tosspot' (a ridiculous or unpleasant person). Tosser is the same as 'wanker' (with the same meaning) and both are quite common in colloquial British English! (Both are insults)

Example: "Urgh, my new boss is being a total tosser!"  


3. Tart
Regular meanings: a small pie; an acidic or sour taste
Slang meaning: a slut or prostitute. Traditionally applied to women, today it can be used of either gender to imply they sleep around a lot (this is an insult!) This is very old slang, and quite well known worldwide, I think.

Examples: 
"Don't go out with Eric, he's a complete tart!"
"Shall I buy these shoes?" - "No, they look a bit tarty." 



The banking ad.




Tuesday, 8 November 2016

Snack of the Day: Pie Susu Asli Enaaak!

Never seen this before but I was given it to try after visitors from Indonesia gifted it. It's Balinese apparently. The packaging (I think) says 'the original milk pie - yummmmeeee'! It's basically a sort of custard tart, but the filling is made with sweetened-condensed milk, which I guess means it has a slightly longer shelf-life than a regular custard tart. And this is the posh brand. (Sweetened-condensed milk is very common across SE Asia because fresh milk will sour in about 3 seconds in the heat, or require expensive refrigeration. So most traditional hawker-style teas and coffees with milk are also very sweet!)

As for the milk pie, it was quite tasty, actually. Pretty sweet, of course, but then so are Asian custard tarts. A bit drier, as the 'custard' is not so bounteous. But worth a try if you see them in Bali! 



Friday, 4 November 2016

People, damage limitation, Dentsu and debacles

Two things happened recently which struck me: 

1. The Wells Fargo scandal in America: a fest of fake and unapproved accounts were set up by employees who had apparently been set ridiculous targets under threat of firing.

2. Ad giant Dentsu was found to have massively over-estimated / over-charged multiple clients for digital marketing. The agency’s apparent response: to broadly blame overworked employees for the 'mistakes'. This in itself a curious choice of damage limitation – admission that you both overwork your staff to the point where they lose competence, then dishonourably blame them for the company’s wrongs as well? (Where is the management responsibility in this?) I know that Japanese cultural workplace expectations differ from the West's, and overwork is seen as less unacceptable - but Dentsu is a global player, and surely this statement was still a giant blunder of the comms kind too? [Though possibly judged as less damning than a more obvious statement: ‘We’ve been cooking the books!']

I don't know much about retail banking in the USA. If similar to the UK, it's unlikely it would be like investment banking, where there is a high-risk-high-reward parcel to the job. Retail banking employees might be on a far more modest outlook, and adrenalin stress not what they signed up for. I know for a fact that the advertising gals and guys below senior management would not be getting handsome remuneration for long hours.

But what connects the two stories is this: you can’t poop on your staff. High pressure environments with low trust cultures (as both these stories’ outcomes point to) will eventually lead to something coming unstuck. And both these examples show how damaging on a large scale THAT can be!

These news stories are a hard business case for what is often viewed as ‘fluffy-softie’ management practice. And by fluffy-softie, I mean human. Having worked across a number of companies, of varying sizes and profitability, what has stood out is that most outfits are comprised of the sum of their people. Who (even in marketing) are mostly humans. The culture might be high-win, or not, but if your people can’t trust the management / machine, and can’t feel part of the team, what incentive is there for them to be conscientious, give extra, or – if it's really bad - even uphold good practice in return? And in the majority of sectors, if your people aren't on board, what do you actually have left? Business leadership is not just about cash or bluster (or ego) but a respect for your people, their time, their health, and right to function with a sound moral compass.

FYI it is also interesting to note that Wells Fargo's first response was to fire a tranche of 'rogue' middle management and teams. But not senior management, who were ultimately accountable. More quick blame on the employee, without responsibility taken higher up! Surely if internal company investigations needed to be done, all levels should have been afforded the same time and consideration? 



Even as recently as a decade ago, it was a not-uncommon view held by some colleagues at my business school that including a human approach to business was silly, weak, and female (the very word 'female' implying useless). Which is worrying from many angles. This article is not gender related. But really, THESE men were potentially today's business leaders?? Thankfully the CEOs and other more experienced adults on the course did not think this way. And our textbooks didn't either. But the point is, a crucial factor was discounted by a group of on-paper-intelligent people - you can't actually run a good business focused on profits alone, any more than you can on people-wellbeing alone. The leadership thing is by nature multi-faceted, which is presumably why top management are paid so much.

Anyway, perhaps the positive value of Dentsu and Wells Fargo's huge, public, falls from grace (and yep, consequent losses in profits) is their stark illustration of the importance of decent people management in the overall business mix.


Since I wrote this article (on a bus, in September, when these stories were both hitting the news) Dentsu has been in the press again. This for a far more tragic situation – investigations into the 2015 death of a young advertising employee, possibly from overwork. This raises a whole bundle of other questions about employment, and possibly Asian cultural practice too. Another aritcle. But this sad incident had actually taken place before the company cited overworked staff as an explanation for their billing errors. Not sure what that says. But it doesn't sound too good right now.



Wednesday, 26 October 2016

English proverbs: Red Sky at Night..

In the UK we have an old saying which goes: 

Red sky at night, shepherd's delight
Red sky at morning, shepherd's warning.

This means that if there's a pink/red sunset, the next day will be fine. But if there's a pink sunrise, there will be rain. It tends to be true. If you're an outdoorsy shepherd or farmer, this matters. Apparently this saying is even in the bible. We have quite a lot of weather prediction proverbs in the West.

I don't know if this is the same in nearly 365-regular-climate SE Asia! Red sky at night holds true here, but in the sunny tropics there are a lot of red sunsets! Here's tonight's :) 

Monday, 24 October 2016

My Fave Horror Movies - East & West (distilled!)

It's that time of year. Yep, if there is not enough horror for you on the current world political stage, scary films are also springing up for Halloween. 

I've always been a huge fan of horror movies. Not gory / slasher / torture or zombie movies - but a cleverly crafted film of suspense and 'eeek!' factor is such good fun! It needs to be fun. And although many horror flicks have (deliberately?) ridiculous/hilarious/generic plots, some films actually do offer genuinely fascinating twists at the end too. 

Asian horror film masters are Japan, which brought us masterpieces of their time such as The Ring, Dark Water, The Grudge (not to mention a large number of a-bit-too-disturbing numbers such as Ichi the Killer and others). Like other Asian horror flicks, a lot of Japanese films have been remade in the USA, to varying degrees of effectiveness. I haven't included The Ring and co simply because they have now become so parodied they're no longer surprising. South Korea also has made some goodies (The Doll Master, The Tale of Two Sisters, stand out, then on the 'too-disturbing' spectrum, Oldboy, Lady Vengeance, etc). And Thailand also has a good offering, The Eye was originally Thai, as are several other US remakes. 

In the West, well, obviously the well-funded US movie industry has given us many great horror films and horror film franchises: classics like The Shining; personally I quite enjoy the Paranormal Activity series for fun value; Insidious was surprisingly interesting; Drag Me to Hell fun and tongue-in-cheek. In Europe, my personal experience is that Spain makes some really good horror flicks. The Orphanage is worth a look, I even enjoyed (sort of) zombie movies Rec and Rec2 when handled that well (haven't seen 3 and 4 yet).

But if you have just an evening at home to watch horror this Halloween, and also want something a little bit brain-challenging with your popcorn, my recommendations are below:

1. Identity (USA, 2003)
I can't give too many spoilers here. But when it was released it got me and my family talking about it for quite some time afterwards. It's a really clever film - just watch it!



2. Shutter (Thailand, 2004) 
You need to watch the Asian original. This film is a lesson in how clever plot and smart suspense can trump fancy effects and budget. I don't think there are any big bucks scenes in this film, but it will keep you gripped and hiding behind your pillow throughout. With a very good reveal at the end! 



3. The Others (USA/Spain, 2001)
A seemingly long-winded, eerie, period movie with Nicole Kidman doing a good job in the lead. Stick with it to the end, however! The Director is Spanish, and this film has more of a European feel than American, I think. 



4. Battle Royale (Batoru Rowaiaru) (Japan, 2000)
Tbh I am not sure I'd put this into 'horror' but maybe just 'drama'. Though it is quite disturbing - not because of pointless torture or gore, but  as a kind of observation of society. At the same time it's vastly entertaining, in a kind of worrying way! I won't throw in any spoilers, but if any of it  seems familiar, bear in mind this was actually released 16 years ago! 



Honorary Mention: Poltergeist (USA, 1982)
This is just plain fun, and it is still one of my favourite films of all time. Directed by Tobe Hooper, with Spielberg writing/producing, it's got an easy-to-watch, slick, almost comforting, Hollywood finish - but all sorts of weirdness happening too. Carol-Aaaaaan! 



Happy screaming! :)



Tuesday, 27 September 2016

Short Days, Long Nights

There are no seasons in Singapore. It's almost on the equator, so what do you expect? 

In Singapore there's an average day temp of around 30c, and it's very humid. The sun rises at about 7am, sets again (quickly!) at 7pm. Every day. 365. There's a rainy season, and there are dramatic storms too. But otherwise it's pretty uniform. That's the tropics, innit.

Temperate climates, like the UK and Japan, as we all know, have seasons. Usually four. But one thing that seems to have taken most of my Asian friends by surprise is the daylight variations we have in Britain. I'd kind of assumed that somewhere like Japan (which actually has more extreme seasons than Britain) had dark winters and bright summers like the UK. They don't. Apparently. 

In fact the UK is quite a bit further North than Japan. And I guess Britain's deceptively mild seasons are a result of the Gulf Stream (warm current from the Atlantic, which heats things up!) 

Anyway, the Northerliness, due to the tilt of the earth's axis, means that in the winter, we have hardly any daylight. And in the summer the reverse is true. Personally I find the winter aspect particularly grim. The end of December (around Christmas - no coincidence!) and the Winter Solstice are the shortest days of the year. A weak sun rises at maybe 9am, then it is dark again by 4pm. This is nowhere near as extreme as what the Scandinavian countries experience, but when you add cold and rain, it's miserable as hell! You wake up (with difficulty!) and go to work in cold and pitch dark, and return home in the same. Unless you have a nice desk next to a window, you might only catch one hour of daylight per day for quite some weeks! 

Humans get very depressed under these conditions. Natural daylight offers many health benefits to animals, and many UK people suffer from a winter condition called 'seasonal affective disorder: SAD' which is basically sadness, due to no daylight! Special electric devices have even been invented to imitate the effects of natural daylight on the body, and help combat this condition. It takes several months for the days to lengthen into something happier again. 

Weak daylight on a London winter afternoon

I guess the one pleasant aspect of this period is winter Sundays, warm at home with friends/family, hot tea and crumpets, at about 4pm, when it is already cold, pitch dark and wild outside. Or, of course, Christmas feasting and relaxation under similar conditions. But frankly, I'm happy to do that once every five years. I don't need months of it. Trees also lose their leaves in winter, so the whole outlook is pretty bleak tbh! Give me sunny tropics any day! 

The upside of Northerliness in England is, of course, looooooong days in summer. The Summer Solstice (around 21 June) is the peak day, when it might get light at 5am,  and start getting dark again at something crazy like 10.30pm. Sunsets away from the equator also take ages. You watch the shadows get longer and longer over some hours, as the sun drifts lower on the horizon. :)

Summertime in London signals long, warm, light evenings playing sports or having picnics in the parks. Open air performances. Or (if you are somewhere more rural where gardens are affordable) drinks outside at home! People are generally much happier and more energetic during these months. Waking up in sunshine is a piece of cake, compared to winter. Sunlight makes you naturally ready to take on the day! Unfortunately many UK summers are hijacked by endless grey days of rain, but you still get a better daylight deal. And when it's good, it's really worth having! 

Some kind of performance festival at Hampton Court, on a summer evening (with long shadows!)

Oddly, I haven't missed the seasons at all since moving to the tropics nearly five years ago. Many friends from temperate countries do miss them. But as far as I'm concerned, long summer evenings are great, and if I get the chance to go home for a few weeks over summertime, I do. But the trade-off of miserable, long dark winters? No thanks! 

(And yes, I'm talking about the weather again.. which is apparently both a British and Japanese cliche!)


Related reading on this blog:

The summer solstice

Things I Miss About the UK No 3: Crumpets


Saturday, 3 September 2016

Alcohols of Bali - Arak, Brem & Tabuhan

More alcohol. Actually I don't drink very much (honestly!) but like to try local things in general when I visit a place. And we were in Bali recently and they have traditional alcohol there. 

Arak (apparently spelled 'arrack' in the West) is a traditional alcohol of Indonesia, and features in a lot of Balinese festivals and traditions, even acting as a kind of 'holy water' when mixed with good old H2O. (Bali is mainly Hindu.) Our drink was made from palm flowers, but Arak can also be made from sugar cane, fruit, rice, and other grains. The drink is clear, and around 45% proof (sometimes more). But you must try it at a reputable bar, as some cheap versions contain methanol, resulting in serious toxic damage or even recent tourist deaths. Avoid! We had ours at the lovely (reliable) Bumbu Bali restaurant and bar in Tanjong Benoa.

The clean version of Arak certainly has impact. In fact we were already teary-eyed from the chilli dip for our rice crackers - then the Arak! The drink is not sweet, and not unlike a strong version of sake. We had neat shots. But you can drink it with pineapple juice and other mixers. 

This beverage is not to be confused with the Middle Eastern 'arak' which has different ingredients. Araq in Arabic means 'perspiration' or 'distillate', apparently. And online research states the names are unrelated - but I can't help but suspect there's a connection - Indonesian language borrows a fair amount from Arabic due to previous centuries of trade.

Arak

We also tried Tabuhan at the same venue. Tabuhan is a mixture of Arak with a local Balinese drink called Brem. Brem is made from tape, a kind of fermented rice. It is also used in local temple ceremonies, the colour varying from clear to red depending on the kind of rice at the base. And judging from the Tabuhan mix, Brem is much sweeter and lighter than Arak. Tabuhan is a pleasant drink - maybe more palatable than Arak on its own!

Tabuhan


Bumbu Bali's website: http://www.balifoods.com/