Valentine's Day (East & West)

I'm currently in London, and February 14th looms. In the West, this is Valentine's Day. Tbh I'm not keen on pressurised commercial festivals (as they are now). Some can be upsetting for certain groups (which is only just becoming recognised now) and today, generally, they're just a gimmick for retailers to make cash. Over £1 billion (USD 1.3 billion, SGD 1.8 billion) is spent annually in the UK for Valentine's Day. So one can see the commercial savvy in pushing celebrations! But sometimes, even if you don't like the hype, these festivals can be interesting culturally, or historically. 

So here goes!

In the UK today (if we celebrate it!)
February 14th is supposedly a festival of romance. And it's symbolised by hearts, cupids, pink things, doves, chocolates, roses, and perhaps poetry. As children, it was traditional to send an anonymous card to the person (or people) we had a crush on, signing it "?" or "Your Valentine". Supposedly leaving the recipient flattered and wondering who liked them. The card might be sent in the post, or (more usual) left inside your crush's desk or locker! Of course, this also left the people who did NOT receive any cards feeling left out or slightly ridiculed. So some friends would agree to send cards to each other, just so that we had at least one, and looked like we were part of the day.

For adults, very occasionally, anonymous cards or sometimes flowers will be sent (usually from men) to a love interest on Valentine's Day. Retail pressure also suggests that existing couples should go out for overpriced meals, and buy each other expensive and unimaginative gifts! (Red roses, chocolates and things shaped like hearts...) Or just gifts, generally. Prices in restaurants, and for themed gifts rise especially. Traditionally, for heterosexual couples, it was the man's responsibility to arrange Valentine's activities and presents. Today it is increasingly either party. Or none!

How it started
Valentine's Day's origins are Christian, but the romance part is not. 

February 14th is officially the Feast of St Valentine in the church calendar*. It actually could  celebrate more than one Saint Valentine (apparently there are several Christian saints with this name!) For the UK, it usually relates to Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni - who were both early Christian priests, martyred in the 3rd century AD. Probably. (They might have actually been the same guy - such is the haziness of history!)

A bit is known about Valentine of Rome. It seems he was imprisoned for - among other things - presiding over marriages to prevent men going to war (at the time forbidden under Roman law - as young single men were required for fighting). It is also said that he restored the sight of a young blind girl, sending her a letter before his execution, signed 'your Valentine'. Fair enough. But not super romantic.

The lovey-dovey concept was introduced to the public over a millennium later. With the cultural / social fashion of "courtly love"**, promoted by Chaucer (famous English poet) and other artsy types in the 14th century. Although it seems there were no existing traditions, the church feast day suddenly became associated with giving flowers, cards signed 'your Valentine', and professing romantic love. These sentiments were reiterated in later art and literature. And have endured to this day. 

Some sources state that February 14th was adopted from the early (pre-Christian) Roman fertility festival of Lupercalia. This idea has some logic, and tbh, a lot of popular pagan festivals were rebranded by the early Christian church, in a kind of smart change-management exercise. But this theory for Valentine's Day has apparently now been thrown out by experts. 

In Japan today
As with several Western concepts, Japan has adopted Valentine's Day but tweaked it to its own style. The idea was first imported by a confectioner in the 1930s. And today there are two Valentine's Days in Japan - one for women, and one for men. I have never been in Japan during these festivals. But this is what I've gathered from friends and research!

February 14th is specifically for women to gift chocolates or sweets to men. And they do not all have to be romantic interests. Two types of chocolate exist for the occasion: "giri-choko" [義理チョコobligation chocolates] which are bog-standard chocolate gifts for male friends or family; and "honmei-choko" [本命チョコ real, or love chocolates] which are special or homemade, and gifted to actual partners or crushes. Also, the recipient of honmei-choko can reject the gift if he's not interested in the giver (harsh! Though it's apparently rare). In some cases, Valentine's can become very expensive for women, especially if they feel they should buy giri-choko for their whole office.

White Day, then takes place on March 14th. This was introduced in 1978 by the National Confectionery Industry Association to redress the expenses of Valentine's Day for women - and also to make more money for the industry, natch! This is when men give gifts to women. Usually returning the favour of giri-choko, or upping the honmei-choko to a bigger or better gift (I guess if the romantic feelings are reciprocated!) 

Openly gay singles and couples can apparently choose which day they wish to gift any honmei-choko, though it seems being openly gay in Japan is less common than it is in the West.

Although it is modern and entirely industry-invented, there is a little more sense to the Japanese system! Depending on the situation, there is a chance that an open honmei-choko gift could lead to actual chances of romance a month later, or on the day. The anonymous British card-giving is sort of useless. Because while it protects the secret sender from embarrassment or rejection, nothing practical can really come of it!

As in the West, not everybody in Japan thinks Valentine's and/or White Day is a great idea, and not everybody celebrates them. But it is still a big, national deal, which hugely boosts the revenues of retailers and confectioners!

* Some, but not all, Christian churches recognise the Feast of St Valentine. As I've mentioned before, there are MANY different kinds of Christianity, and variations for their festivals and other things.

** Courtly love was not a grunge star, but a literary concept started in France, and seen in the works of Chaucer and others. It was designed to entertain the medieval nobility, and emphasised stories of (lovesick) gentlemen wooing ladies in a very chivalrous way. Ultimately, Valentine's is an equivalent of future generations taking the sentiments of the Hollywood romcom seriously, and carrying them out as an annual tradition, attached bogusly to a religious feast!

Photos: part of this year's Valentine's display in London's famous Fortnum & Mason; gifts for him, for her, for anyone! :) 

Also on this blog:

Stuff Valentine's. Here's a much better Western festival to celebrate this month

Christianity (slightly) Defined...

 

Brass Monkeys!

I'm in London at the end of January. And today it is "brass monkeys". 

In fact, you might also say it could "freeze the balls* off a brass monkey". (Which is a bit more vulgar.)

In the UK and US, we use these phrases colloquially to describe exceptionally cold weather.

This usage apparently started in 19th century America. Nobody really knows the reason for the animal mention. But it seems likely that it referred to small brass monkey statuettes of the time (often from Japan). Which were solid metal, and thus fairly impervious. Only very extreme weather temperatures would affect these inanimate simians! 

Earlier phrases referred to freezing the whiskers, nose or tail off a brass monkey. The slightly less elegant 'balls' was added in the 20th century!

It seems that a popular, and convoluted, theory of the brass monkey being a tray to store a ship's cannonballs has been debunked by experts as well, balls. 

Anyway, brass monkeys is one of English's many strange colloquialisms. And if you hear it when visiting the UK or US, at least you now know what it means ;) 

* Balls is UK/US slang for testicles! 


Also on this blog:

What is "Going For A Cheeky Nando's"? 

More British English Slang

More informal British English

Biscuits and some issues with US & UK English

After Asia: Very Poor Quality Housing and an Inconsiderate Culture

Any Brit living in APAC (unless, perhaps, they are a millionaire) will say that the living conditions in the UK/London are terrible by comparison to those in many local countries. It is one of those things which I never really clocked, until I lived abroad. I was utterly miserable in most of my British accommodation, but - like a lot of Brits here today - flatly refused to believe it was anything other than 'normal'. Well, poor living conditions are normal for regular-earners in the UK. But they're not, necessarily, elsewhere in the world. And, even more bizarrely, UK rent and accommodation outstrips almost every other city in the world for high cost (and cost relative to salary). 

Here are the main issues: 

Old Buildings
Most accommodation in the UK is in old buildings. And not designed for modern, high-density living. Today's scenario sees the 'high-density' houses built in, say, the 1930s, now subdivided into many poorly converted, even smaller (and hyper-expensive!) apartments. Old buildings handle temperatures poorly (a lot of drafts and heat-leakage in winter; lack of ventilation in summer). And because they were never intended to be apartments, you'll find tiny kitchens, lack of bathrooms, and - due to the poor quality, old, conversions: no privacy or soundproofing whatsoever.

I've lived in plenty of shares where you would have four professionals queuing desperately each morning for use of the ONE bathroom (which will inconveniently also contain the only toilet) before work. Woe betide anyone who gets sick and might need it more frequently! 

A 'fully modernised' London conversion will mean the interiors, kitchen fittings etc will be upgraded. But the structure, and lack of soundproofing, will remain the same. In most period conversions it is common to hear your neighbours': 
- Conversations
- Arguments 
- Chopping / cooking sounds
- Television
- Music
- Washing machine
- Entertaining   
- Doors and drawers being closed
- Snoring 
- Walking around (especially if you are below them or somebody has wood floors)
- Sexual exploits in bed.

This constant noise pollution has been the single most stressful aspect for me and many of my friends. It can badly impact your mental and physical health. Working and commuting in London is exceptionally high-stress. You really do need to be able to relax and wind-down when you are at home. But the neighbour noise will often prevent this. Any one converted apartment can adjoin six or more others which you can hear. You would have to be very lucky to have considerate, quiet, people in all of them! (And even if you do, the high turnover of tenants in places like London means that that could change at any time!) 
 

The Inconsiderate Culture
Western and Eastern cultures have many differences! Modern British culture, for example, is very thoughtful regarding diversity, people's human rights, support for those struggling/in need and many other good things. But this traditionally does not extend into living at home. Again, I've only really noticed this after having eight years elsewhere for comparison! It's not to say that individual people are not considerate in our homes. In previous shares I've been in, we tried to operate a 9-9 rule. This means that we don't put on music, washing machine, do repairs or make other anti-social noise before 9am or after 9pm. Just because we knew neighbours would hear all of it! But many people are either simply not aware, or believe it is their right to do as they please within their own homes. Including playing loud music or TV, and having loud parties. This, in the UK's non-soundproofed, poor quality housing - is highly problematic! Bass and sub-woofer (both very popular in the UK, and obviously not even in existence when these old properties were built!) can carry down an entire row of subdivided, old houses. As a musician friend of mine pointed out, residential housing is simply not equipped to deal with bass. And if it is old, flimsy residential housing too....

There are no operational authorities in places like London to deal with neighbour noise. The under-resourced police are trying to handle shootings and stabbings; and a couple of decades ago, they handed neighbour disturbance responsibility to the equally under-resourced local councils (who in reality can do nothing - as many of us have discovered). People in the UK generally do not abide by laws in the way people might in some Asian countries - not least because authorities are so ill-equipped to enforce them! Modern condos with their own security or block-management are almost non-existent in London. The only option is to try to confront the neighbours yourself. And even if done very tactfully, this often gets an aggressive or rebellious reaction with volume being turned UP, just to spite you. Because Westerners generally don't like being told what to do.

Alcohol can also play a key role here (and recreational drugs, which are also common). If people are drunk, it is less likely they'll be aware of the noise they're making. In some cases it is dangerous to approach noisy neighbours. So a vast percentage of noise just persists. If you rent, the trick is to never sign a long-term lease, and always have a get-out clause. Just in case the noise is unbearable after you move in!

In two of my homes in APAC, I did suffer noise disturbance, but it was not the norm. (I lived in a whole host of quiet homes during my eight years!) The instances in Asia were 1) a location where it turned out boy-racers would speed their Ferraris at night (not neighbours, per se) and 2) an actual powerful, gang-related resident, who the block management were unable to control (though they did try). Aside from having block management, or also security in some cases, most housing in SE Asian cities is also modern, and purpose-built / insulated. And often with rooms or outdoor space away from the apartments, for people to practice musical instruments, or have parties etc if they want to. Parties are closed down at 10pm, to allow other residents to sleep. And if you want to celebrate late, or have loud music, people will go out to a bar or club to do it. But aside from all this 'design', the cultures I lived amongst simply were not into playing sub-woofer, getting drunk, or having loud parties at home. It's just not the deal. And anyone who tried to do the above would immediately be shut down by complaining neighbours - as the general vibe was that it's obstructing others' rights to peace and quiet if you do it! (Some friends and I were shut down from even having a quiet BBQ-side chat one night - because it was disturbing some of our neighbours from their sleep. Our reaction: An apology and immediately quieting down. Not pump up the volume to spite them!)

The combo of culture and poor quality housing in the UK is a high stress one. And something I pitied my London friends having to endure, as soon as I moved overseas! In the UK, period homes have gained a reputation (perhaps developed cleverly by real estate agents?) of being 'characterful' and therefore more desirable.. . But however beautiful your apartment might look, if you can't use the toilet, get peace, sleep or relax when you need to, it isn't even really a 'home'. AND on top of rent, your costs for heating will rocket as so much is lost through old structures. There is no longer any appeal for me! If I have to stay longer in London, I hope to rent an apartment in one of the city's very rare, modern condominiums. It's unfashionable, but you can't put a price on having peace and privacy at home! 

A typical London terrace. These old houses will now have been subdivided into many small flats!

Also on this blog: 

After Asia: a dearth of smartphones in public!

Chillblains

Here's something you don't get in the tropics! But you do get them frequently in colder climates, such as the UK winter. 

Chillblains, aka Chill Burns, are itchy, sore areas which normally develop on your toes or fingers (and even ears, nose and other cold-exposed areas, apparently). They were a frequent occurrence when I was a child - especially as we spent a lot of time playing outdoors in the cold; and before Heattech and thermal socks were a thing! Usually toes become red and swollen - though there is no obvious skin damage. The damage is the effect of cold (and damp) on toe tissue - and is worsened by the human instinct to put very cold feet immediately by a hot fire or radiator! Chillblains are usually harmless, but they're uncomfortable and can last for a couple of weeks. 

So in case any of you tropical types intend to visit a cold climate this Christmas: wear good thermal socks and gloves, keep your digits dry. And if they feel like they're frozen, don't heat them quickly with something very hot! Instead try warming some socks or gloves and put those on, to gently revive your tootsies! Or just relax and let your fingers and toes thaw at room temperature :)

Happy (healthy) holidays! 

Image: old ad found on Pinterest

Also on this blog:

Short Days, Long Nights

Snow!

 

After Asia: Sniffing (East and West)

I sniff a lot. I trained myself to do it while living in SE Asia. I don't mean sniffing to smell things, but sniffing with a cold nose. And it's problematic while I'm in the UK! Here's why:

In the UK (for some reason) it is considered extremely uncouth / unpleasant to make noises with your nose in public. Most of the UK year is cold, and people are likely to have runny noses - because of the low temperatures, allergies, or actual mild illnesses. But the custom is that you handle these symptoms by dabbing, or blowing into a tissue (or in the old days, a fabric handkerchief). If there's any kind of noise required, it is considered polite to make it in the bathroom with a tissue (and wash your hands afterwards). But for a 'cold nose' from outdoors, for example, you'd dab with a paper tissue, even in public. 

British toddlers are taught "Don't sniff, blow," as parents countrywide reach for tissues to help them. Medically, in fact, there doesn't seem to be much to back nose-blowing (and a few things which suggest it's harmful). The UK preference for a blow over a sniff seems to be mainly just one of tradition, and I guess the gross-out factor of the audio?

In Singapore (and I believe Japan, and some other East Asian countries) the opposite is true. Tissues and handkerchiefs are considered disgusting - because they potentially spread germs. And thus it is much more polite to sniff, rather than blow or dab. In Singapore, this can be taken to the extreme, with full-on nasal-honking and other loud noises from men and women in public. I still find these  outbursts tough to take - because I was brought up in Western culture! 

But after finding out about it, I agree with the lighter aspects of sniffing. Tissues (and worse, non-disposable handkerchiefs) really ARE quite revolting, especially if hands are not washed after use. And while I was living in Singapore, I caught on with the light sniffing trend. (People in the tropics do still get colds, and snuffles from overzealous aircon and other changes in temp!)

SO, a few winter months in the UK, and it looks like I'll need to re-train myself all over again. And invest in banks of paper tissues. A few people have given me odd looks when sniffing (odd looks = a passive British way of expressing 'eeiiw'!) just as I thought 'eeiiw!' when I first moved to Singapore! And it's endless runny-nose-weather in London, so I'd best get with the programme! But I still struggle with the snotty tissue/hanky concept - and prefer to at least chuck after one use. I mean, Asian or not, shouldn't we all be doing that anyway, to limit the spread of winter germs?

:)

English learners: "get with the programme" is a colloquial phrase which means to keep up and follow what others are doing.

Also on this blog:

On or Off? The Shoe Thing 

 

Photo credit: livingwell.borges.com

The Twelve Days of Christmas - a revelation!

Christmas, like Chinese New Year, Divali and other big festivals officially lasts for some days. Twelve of them, for Church of England (Protestant) Christianity*. Who knew?

From around the 6th century, 'Christmas' has traditionally started on 25th December and lasted until 6th January - a day known as Epiphany. This period is known as the Christmas Season, or sometimes Christmastide. And it includes a whole raft of Christian festivals I had never heard of, including St Stephen's Day on December 26th, the Feast of the Circumcision of Christ (!) and a feast for Mary (Jesus's mother) on New Year's Day. Feasting, worship, Christmas cake, carol-singing and other things are supposed to take place over this Christmas Season. And giving gifts (often one for each of the twelve days) was a custom to reflect the Christian story of the wise men bringing gifts for the infant Jesus. There is actually a traditional festive song which we still sing across Europe, which describes (a bit theatrically!) gifts given over the Twelve Days of Christmas. But I wonder how many children know what, or when, the twelve days really are? (I certainly didn't!)

In Christianity, Epiphany is the day when the wise men (or 'Magi') made their visit to the newborn Jesus. And for the Church of England, it marks the end of the traditional Christmas Season. The night before is known as Twelfth Night, which was also a time for extra partying (and is the title of a famous Shakespearean play).

But all this gets confusing, because today's rituals are quite different. In modern day, fairly secular, Britain, for example, the three main festival days are probably Christmas Eve (24th December), Christmas Day (25th) and Boxing Day (26th) - the latter two being public holidays. We don't really recognise Twelfth Night or Epiphany any more, except perhaps as a vague indicator that we should remove Christmas decos before 6th January. (And I think that idea is also corrupted from another Christian festival!)

In 2019, the "Christmas Season" is more likely to reflect Advent - the period leading up to Christmas Day and Boxing Day. I suspect not least because Christmas is mostly about modern retail sales, as people rush out to prepare for the public holidays. But we also have carol-singing and other less commercial activities during Advent as well now. And children's advent calendars do often (misleadingly!) include images from the Twelve Days of Christmas song - although it is rather early. 

Some modern UK businesses close down from Christmas Day to 2nd January. But this is also a commercial decision because so many staff will take the period between Christmas and New Year public holidays for annual leave. It tends to be a 'dead time' for a lot of European business!

Anyway, here is a video of the Twelve Days of Christmas song. This was originally a French rhyme from the 18th century, and set to music in 1909. The first present, a partridge, would have been gifted on Christmas day :) 

Plus: Lyrics to the Twelve Days of Christmas


* FYI there are many different branches of Christianity, Western and Eastern, and even just within the UK. And many of them celebrate Christmas slightly differently. I've used the most common one in the UK, and the one I know best (though my family is not particularly religious!)


Also on this blog:

Christmassy Things: Christmas! 

Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh

メリ~クリスマス: and The Big Shutdown!

London at Christmas: The Advent Calendar

Christianity (slightly) Defined...

Beans

In UK colloquial food-speak, if someone says 'beans' it only really means one thing: canned baked beans in sweet tomato sauce. Basically the world-famous Heinz style offering (and various British own-brand store versions).

Canned baked beans have become so much a part of UK culture, that they require no further information! And I realised this recently while talking to a friend from France (where it seems 'beans' rightly means, well, any kind of bean-ish legume!)

British people do actually eat (and grow) many other kinds of bean (green beans, runner beans, broad beans to name a few). But they will usually be described in a way that distinguishes them from 'beans'.

In fact the origin of today's baked bean is native American (where maple syrup was used in the sauce). And, like so many other recipes worldwide, it was admired, and adapted by others. In this case American colonists - eventually finding its way to the UK in the late 19th century via Heinz's canned exports. In fact, like today's humble orange, canned baked beans were a super-luxury item back then, sold through London's exclusive Fortnum & Mason! Today's popular UK version is less sweet. And much more accessible ;)

Brits tend to eat baked beans (always heated!) on buttered toast, as a side to other traditional dishes, or as part of a cooked breakfast. They became an integral part of traditional British breakfasts - the Full English and Scottish, and also Irish*, apparently - from the early 1900s. That's over 100 years to build their 'iconic' status in the UK!

Photo: BBC Good Food

* Yes, all these regional variations on a cooked breakfast exist!


Also on this blog:

Ipoh and Creme Caramel - the Global Dessert 

British Christmas Nosh