Spleen: moving around in Singapore

1. Recently I went on holiday to Europe (where I grew up, and then worked for around 15 years). And the first thing I noticed, even on my exit in not-so-glamourous Heathrow? I am watching a video in fast-forward! In the UK, people walk fast, and with purpose. It was really pronounced!

2. I am also currently nursing a sprained ankle I received here in Singapore.

Here is the explanation for both the above:

1. Singaporeans en masse walk REALLY slowly. And without purpose! I don't know why. This country is admittedly like a strange comfort bubble - insulated from all the pressures, aggression and necessary street-smart of other countries, perhaps that's why? But if you are from London (New York, Tokyo etc) you will find getting from A-B really difficult. It is like finding yourself in a zombie-horde! You might SEE your train coming into the platform just metres away, or your bus arriving. But you won't be able to get it, because there is a crowd of people wandering aimlessly in front of you. Yes, they're all in the same station, mall, or street and presumably also wanting to catch a train, bus etc. But the sense of purpose / urgency you find in big cities simply doesn't exist here.

Climate-wise I totally understand it. You'll sweat to death in two nanoseconds if you try the 'Big City' approach outdoors here. But most of Singapore (certainly stations, malls etc) is air-conditioned and covered. Also, crowds move relatively quickly in places such as Kuala Lumpur, up the road, where the climate's the same.

So, who knows what's going on! But if you are from overseas, just make sure you allow extra time; and be prepared to get exasperated (or, just expect it and take it in your - enforcedly small - stride!)

Incidentally, I've mentioned this slow pace to Singaporeans who have been incredulous and said 'But we walk really fast!'. Nope. I'm getting used to it now, but it is ludicrously slow compared to other countries! And internationally known as the 'Singapore Shuffle'.

2. Conversely, when there's any kind of 'queuing potential' in Singapore, people get incredibly aggressive. So if you are right next to the train when it comes in, or near a pedestrian crossing when it goes green - expect to get shoved, elbowed, 'tsk'd' at, and battered by an array of designer handbags. In the case of buses, once people have beaten you up and are ON the bus, they go back to the zombie pace, picking a seat at leisure while a huge bottleneck-scrum builds up behind them.

Why why why? Is this scrum the result of all those who have missed the previous three buses / trains by being in a zombie-horde?? If that's the case a) at least then be considerate to the others who have also been waiting b) the whole thing could be remedied by moving in a speedy, orderly, purposeful way to start off with!

So anyway, I didn't sprain my ankle (which will take 4-6 months to heal due to ligament damage) doing parkour, taekwondo, or some other activity. I sprained it when I got pushed off the pavement by an aggressive housewife at the pedestrian crossing - going to buy milk on a Sunday morning!

(Though on-foot I still overtake 90% of Singaporeans even WITH the sprain....)