Culture clash: sharing food

I've been out with a couple of Japanese friends recently, and noted that they found it strange to order and eat your own plate of food in a restaurant. 

In many Asian cultures (including Japanese) it is more common to order a few mutual dishes. These are put in the middle of the table, and shared using chopsticks to transfer bits from the 'common dishes' onto a bowl or plate of your own before you eat. This is not always the case with Asian cuisine, but it is much more common. And the food (and implements) are suited to this style.

But this is not the way Western / European food is eaten. It had never occurred to me before, but some Japanese friends actually feel uncomfortable 'not sharing' while eating Western dishes. I guess because it probably seems a bit ungenerous, compared to the Asian style. I had just taken it for granted that Asian food is shared, European food is not. And in fact, when it comes to Western dishes, to suddenly group-share a bowl of pasta or a serving of roast dinner makes me feel uncomfortable too! Because that is not how it is supposed to be eaten.

Again, there are one or two exceptions in food from Western Europe (fondue, giant pizzas?) But in the UK, 99% of the time we eat our own, individual, plates of food. This is especially the case in restaurants. Each person will order what they want to eat and pay for from the menu, and you and your companion will eat your own chosen dishes while chatting etc. Sharing a main course would be positively odd to us, and for most Western dishes, the servings are designed with a selection of meat, carbs, veggies for a single diner. In fact, sharing it is an unhygienic prospect too: chopsticks don't touch the mouth / lips - but digging into a main course with different sets of knives and forks is definitely not a pleasant thought - and probably a delight for hepatitis and the cold and flu viruses! (Occasionally couples, or parents with children, might eat from the same plate - but other groups would not.) 

At home, you might all have the same food from a common pot - but the pot will stay on the cooker (where it can keep warm). And each person will be served his/her individual plate of food from it to take to the table. For a roast dinner or a summer salad table, some items might be put on the table for people to take from - but we use special 'clean' serving spoons to transfer food onto our own plates. For people to 'eat from it' using their own knives and forks would be considered very rude indeed!

Individual serving of a UK roast lunch!

In a way, the Western eating tradition seems less social as there is less sharing. (In a restaurant, we still  might share a bottle of wine, basket of bread, or 'accessories' however!) But apart from the hygiene aspect, in the modern day, many people have food preferences and allergies, which actually makes individual eating out far more practical too. In fact, eating style is probably very reflective of the way different societies are organised: Asian cultures tend to be very focused on the group; Western cultures are more individual. There is nothing wrong with either.

Overall, I think the rule-of-thumb is to eat each geographical cuisine as it is designed to be eaten, and enjoy!